Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
