Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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