Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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