Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
