well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
