when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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