id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
