The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize