he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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