And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
