He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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