a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm too high and old for this...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
