Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
