nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
