the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
