I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
