hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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