Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
