well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
