lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
