remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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