I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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