It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
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I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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