We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
