Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
