I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
