OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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