friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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