After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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