Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
