Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
