Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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