Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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