what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
