I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
