She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
