just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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