dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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