If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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