3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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