That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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