If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
