hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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