Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
