Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
