brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
