Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
