He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
