I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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