So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
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My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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