I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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