Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
