angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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