He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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