chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize