Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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