im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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