I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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