For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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