The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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