Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
