I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Congratulations! We have a period
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
